


Of Hearts And Marks

by Coby_Thinks



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Deceit is Dustin, M/M, Multi, Other, Prejudice, Roman is not okay, Romantic Soulmates, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates, and then Roman is okay, angsty angst, en-freaking-joy, self-deprecation, yeet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-01
Updated: 2019-11-01
Packaged: 2021-01-16 10:57:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21269927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Coby_Thinks/pseuds/Coby_Thinks
Summary: In a world where everyone is born with a soul mark - a personalized design that will glow when one is near their soulmate - those without the marks are seen as less. Soul-less, to be exact. Roman is one of these 'soul-less'... but why let that stop him? He doesn't need a soulmate, and he definitely couldn't fall in love with anyone. Right? Well, he learns that souls aren't quite that simple.SOULMARKS:Logan - stars on his wrist, they glow a dark bluePatton - a sun on his shoulder-blade, it glows light blueVirgil - lightning across his chest, it glows purpleDustin (deceit) - Scales on half of his face, it glows yellow-greenRoman - has no soul mark.





	Of Hearts And Marks

The first time he learned about soulmates, Roman was baffled. It was fourth grade, and they were learning about them in school. 

“I’m sure most of you already know about this,” the teacher said at the front of the class. “But everyone has a soulmate. You’ll know who your soulmate is because when you get close to them, your soul mark will glow. Everyone has a different soul mark - you already know about all of yours.”

Everyone spoke at once, then. Talking about how their soul mark was this, or their parents already told them, etc. He remained quiet, though. Watching his soulmates pull up their sleeves or brush back their hair or point excitedly to the palm of their hands and showing the simple black designs.

The class slowly fell back into order, and Roman slowly raised his hand.

“Yes, Roman?” the teacher asked with a smile. 

“What if someone doesn’t have a soul mark?” he asked. “How do they know who their soulmate is?”

“Oh.” the teacher laughed nervously. “Well, no one really talks about soul-less people. Actually, I’ve never met one. But sometimes there’s a defect or something, and a person is born without… without a soul, I suppose. So they don’t have a soulmate or a soul mark. Does that make sense, sweetie?”

“Yes,” Roman whispered mouth dry as he stared down at his desk. 

“Where did you come up with such an idea, anyway?” the teacher laughed softly.

“...I was just wondering.” Roman lied softly, then fell silent until the end of the day. 

He was silent on the drive home, and he knew his grandmother was confused and worried about him, but she didn’t say anything either until they’d arrived home and gotten out the after school cookies.

“Are you alright, love?”

“I don’t have a soul,” Roman told her hollowly, staring down at his cookie. She breathed in sharply.

“Oh, sweetheart, where did you hear that?”

“My teacher said so.” Roman’s lip trembled and he looked up. “We learned about soul marks today, and my teacher said that people without them don’t have souls. I don’t have a soul mark…” he sniffled, pushing his cookie away. 

“Roman, no…” she pulled him into her arms and he started to cry at last, shoulders shaking. “No, my love. Of course, you have a soul.”

“B-but…”

“I’d never lie to you, darling.” she gently kissed his head. “You don’t have a soul mark, that’s true. But you know why?”

“Wh-why?”

“Because your soul is so wonderful.” the elderly woman said softly, brushing Roman’s hair back from his tear-streaked face. “It's so good that the universe couldn't just give you to one person, Roman. Your soul is for the world, it’s for everyone. You can love everyone and show them how wrong they are about you.”

“R-really?” Roman’s eyes widened. “I-I’m not gonna… I’m not gonna be always alone?”

“You’ll never be alone,” she said, smiling and pulling him close to her chest.

That day, and for a long time after that, Roman believed her. 

* * *

Roman and his grandmother moved after that. She sued the school for what they’d said, something about emotional abuse to a child based solely on prejudice. He went to a new school, and everything was fine for a long time. He never talked about his lack of a soulmate, afraid of being hurt again. His grandmothers’ words stuck by him. He was meant to share his heart and soul with the world, he just had no idea how to do that. Until middle school, when Roman joined the drama club.

He fell in love with acting. With singing. With performing and making people feel emotions they’d never expected to feel. It was his new obsession, and as the years went on he became positive that it was how he would change the world. His grandmother supported it as much as she could, coming to all his performances and helping him with his lines.

She passed away in his second year at the local community college, leaving him the old house she’d bought back when he was younger and all her lifes savings, built up over years of book sales and only buying for two people. He was devastated, but everything she’d ever told him still sat in his head and he took it as well as he could. He poured emotions into acting, gaining a reputation for being one of the best. He fixed up their old house, slowly putting her things away or donating them and making the house more like his own.

Fan-mail for all her old books still came in from time to time, and Roman was fond of curling up with a hot-cocoa to read the letters of children who enjoyed her many books. He’d never write back, though, the way that she had. Oh, she’d loved to write back to them. He would just send them a little note, an inspiring quote she’d written and he’d gotten prints of, and her signature. He couldn't possibly be her, even if he wanted to.

Searching through her old belongings, he’d found a note she’d left for him. It contained a few hundred dollars, and instructions on how to find a tattoo artist that specialized in imitating soul marks. Prejudice was dangerous for him, she’d written. She wanted him to be safe, and the tattoo was not a lie out of shame. It was a mark of protection. 

He got it done, and a black line drawing matching his grandmothers’ mark on his ribcage became familiar to him whenever he looked in the mirror, despite the fact that it would never glow. It would never warm his heart the way that soulmates marks did. 

Not everyone met their soulmate. He would be fine. The mark would keep him safe from all the awfulness of the world, and he would share his soul with everyone.

And so that’s what he did.

* * *

Roman could hardly believe how far he’d made it in life. Even with every interview, every new role in a movie or play, every comic-con he attended with the cast of whatever movie, he couldn't believe it. He didn’t deserve it, for one thing. For another thing, he couldn't help but envy everyone he’d ever met that had a soul mark. Which was basically everyone. 

He knew it was silly. He knew. But when he saw people whose marks glowed as they walked hand in hand with another person, or a friend gushed about finding their soulmate and promising him he would someday - no one but him and an anonymous tattoo artist knew that Roman was without a soulmate - or he’d think of his parents who were soulmates and abandoned him because he didn’t have one, leaving him to be raised by his grandmother in the first place, he felt awful. Jealous, furious that the universe had decided he didn’t deserve someone who loved him for who he was. 

Because with all the acting, all the joy and love he tried to send to the earth, they loved his characters. The white lies he would tell in interviews, not wanting to let them into his personal life. Everyone loved Roman Crown, but no one truly knew him. He hated it, but what else could he do?

Well, that answer came on a sunny summer day when he was on his usual walk, in the park a few blocks away with the old house he still lived in.

“Don’t believe me? Fine!” 

Roman glanced up as he heard an argument at a small picnic table, where to his surprise sat four men, all of whose soul marks were glowing brightly. One of them - whose soul mark was fascinatingly a pattern of scales across half of his face, glowing a bright yellow/green - stood up.

“I’ll get an outsider’s opinion- hey you!” Roman’s steps faltered when the man spotted him, pointing a finger. “Settle a debate!”

“Oh my god, Dustin that’s Roman Crown!”

“What’s most important?” Dustin steadfastly ignored his companion as he walked over, grabbing Roman’s arm. “The individual, or the society?”

“What?” Roman chuckled, letting himself be pulled over to the picnic table. The one who’d recognized him buried his face in his arms, hiding the faint purple glow from under his shirt. “Are you four out here debating philosophy?”

“Dustin let go of the celebrity before I fucking explode.” the second man begged.

“Fine, fine.” Dustin threw his hands in the air but watched Roman expectedly. “What’s your answer?”

“To the question?” Roman thought for a moment, amused at the way the other two men comforted their panicking friend. “Well, I suppose it depends. What’s at stake? Will society and all its laws crumble if the individual wins?”

“Ideally,” Dustin muttered.

“Hardly.” one of the men in glasses scoffed. “Do you have any idea how life would be if there were no laws at all? Honestly, we’ve discussed this before!”

“The individual is always important.” Roman added, enjoying himself as it was clear these four weren’t only talking to him because he was ‘Roman Crown’. “I mean, how could we have role-models without some people blatantly ignoring society’s rules? The Queer movement, for example. Don’t tell me you want us to go back to those dark ages.”

“Of course not.” glasses scoffed. “Honestly. All I’m saying is that cooperation is important.”

“Cooperation does nothing if both parties are unhappy!” Dustin complained. “Patton agrees with me, right? You want everyone to be happy, Pat!”

“That’s true.” the fourth man’s eyes watered a bit. “Why can’t everyone just be happy?”

“Oh, don’t get him thinking like that again!” the anxious man’s head shot up and. “Patton, please don’t start crying right now.”

“I-It’s not like I’m trying!” Patton complained.

“Happiness,” Roman smiled, running a hand through his hair as the old quote in his grandmothers’ handwriting came to mind. “Only has an impact if you’ve once felt sadness. Otherwise, it’s obsolete.”

A beat of silence followed this.

“Oh, I like you.” Dustin decided.

“You can’t just say that!” the anxious man nearly shrieked. “Do you have any fucking idea who this guy is?”

“A guy you know somehow? From the internet, probably.” Dustin shrugged.

“That’s right, I didn’t introduce myself!” Roman beamed, amused at the dynamic they had going. “Roman, if you please. Though I’m not one to reject any fun nickname you can come up with.”

“Oh, we know who you are!” Patton waved a hand, wiping the tears from his face and smiling brightly. “You’re that one guy from the movie with the centaurs!”

“Is that the only movie you can remember?!” the anxious one demanded, looking mortified. “Holy shit. My brain is going to melt out of my ears, I’m so sorry.” he looked at Roman. “I am so incredibly sorry.”

“Don’t be!” Roman couldn't stop smiling. “This is the best conversation I’ve had with anyone for quite some time.”

“My name is Logan.” glasses adjusted the tie he was - for some reason - wearing.

“And you, dark and stormy night?” Roman winked cheerfully and the final man’s face burned.

“‘M Virgil.” he hid in his arms again and Roman laughed, feeling a bit bad.

“Apologies, you have no reason to be embarrassed.”

“I have to be,” Virgil mumbled. “Because these idiots have no sense of shame.”

“You’re right.” Dustin agreed. “Which is why I can do fun things like accidentally drag your celebrity crush into philosophical debates!”

“I’m gonna murder you. I really am.” Virgil growled.

“Not in daylight.” Dustin scoffed.

“May I ask what triggered the debate?” Roman asked curiously, taking in all their appearances again. Logan had a pattern of stars around one wrist, and it was glowing a deep blue. Patton’s shirt covered his shoulder blade, but not enough to hide the lighter shade of blue shining from it. “Or do you spend most double dates challenging the other couple to defend their stance on society?”

“Oh.” Patton’s face grew a bit pink. “Uh, we’re not on a double date…” he laughed nervously, looking away. 

“Honestly, you two and your self-doubt.” Dustin rolled his eyes. “We’re polyamorous soulmates, Roman. And we do debate philosophy often, to answer your question.”

“Incredible!” Roman beamed. He’d had no idea such a thing existed. Having more than one soulmate? He’d never heard of it before, but he loved it. “I wasn’t aware such a thing existed, but I’m certainly happy for the four of you!”

“Of course you are.” Virgil groaned. “Of course you’re an amazing person. Holy shit, what even is today?”

“Tuesday,” Logan replied. Virgil just sighed.

“You’d never have to worry about judgment from me, of all people,” Roman said, wincing as he accidentally referenced his best-kept secret. “I live to spread joy, you know. That’s my life mission.”

“We are aware,” Logan said, smiling slightly. “You’re quite the role model, Roman.” Roman sputtered slightly, surprised.

“I am no such thing!” he shook his head. “No one should try to be like me, they’ve all got their own identities to figure out!”

“And that’s why you’re a role model.” Dustin laughed. “I see why you like him, Virge, he’s too good for this world.”

“Shut up.”

“So what brings you to this little town, anyway?” Patton asked curiously. “Aren’t you mildly famous?”

“This little town?” Roman laughed, head flying back. “I live here, darling. One of my best kept secrets, so don’t go telling anybody.”

“Oh, of course, I wouldn’t!” Patton’s eyes widened. “You live here?”

“A few blocks away, in a house.” Roman clarified. “Though I wouldn’t mind being a bridge troll if I needed to be one.”

“What is happening?” Virgil asked numbly from inside his hands.

“You’re meeting your idol and being a wimp about it,” Dustin replied. Patton smacked him in the arm. “Ow! Patton!”

“Be nice.” Patton scolded.

“I am being nice! I’m being realistic!”

“You are not realistic,” Logan shook his head. “You believe that society could function with no laws or rules at all.”

“It could if we-”

“It really couldn't.” Logan shook his head, and the two of them started bickering back and forth. 

Roman leaned on the table, entertained by the dynamic between the four of them. Oh, they were so lucky. He could feel the envy stirring, coiling in his stomach as he watched them. No anger, no. He liked them too much to be angry at them. But he couldn't help but be jealous of the incredible luck they had.

“So what about you, Roman?” Patton asked as the other two bickered. “I’ve seen tons of theories online about where you spend vacations, you and your soulmate just hide out here?”

“My soulmate?” Roman couldn't hide back a scoff that he hid as a small chuckle. “Oh, haven’t met them yet, I’m afraid. Just me myself and I, when I’m not working on a project.”

“Oh, I’m sorry!” Patton’s eyes widened. “I didn’t think of that - you’ve just been to so many places and you’ve met so many people, and…”

“No need to apologize!” Roman waved a hand. “Soulmates aren’t for everyone, after all. My late grandmother never met hers, for example, and she was a wonderful woman until the end. She’s where I heard that quote on happiness, actually. She was a genius.”

“I mean, yeah…” Virgil finally spoke, voice soft. “But like, I hated the idea of soulmates… and now…” Roman glanced around them, smirking sadly. “I just didn’t get it.”

“That goes back to the individuality thing we were discussing,” Roman said. “Everyone is different, whether they like it or not.”

“You’re right, you’re right.” Virgil shrugged. “Sorry, I just get all sappy when we talk about it.”

“Awe, I love you!” Patton buried Virgil in a hug. Roman smiled, heart aching as he stood up.

“Well, I really must be going.” he hesitated, then smiled as he got an idea. “Might we get together again? I’ve found myself lacking in friendships as of late, and you all seem like a fascinating group to get to know more about.”

“What?” Virgil stared at him. “Are you serious?”

“Of course.” Roman smiled, then hesitated. “I would prefer if you didn’t post about where I live on the internet or anywhere, though. God knows how I’ve managed to keep this a secret for so long, and I’d prefer it to stay that way.”

“Of course.” Virgil nodded, Patton following suit. “Fuck, um, yeah…”

“Here.” Roman fished in his pocket, pulling out a pen. “What’s your phone number? I left my device at home for some thinking, but I’ll put it in as soon as I get back.”

“Holy shit, I think I’m dying.” Virgil lay his head on the table, and Patton cheerfully recited a phone number. Roman wrote it down, stuffing the pen back in his pocket.

“Thank you for an entertaining discussion.” he bowed dramatically. “I hope to see you all again soon.”

“Wait- hey you still haven’t given a solid answer yet!” Dustin complained, “what’s more important?”

“Neither.” Roman waved, walking back down the path toward his house.

“Fuck you,” Dustin said just before Roman walked out of earshot.

Roman laughed softly, running a hand through his hair. That burning jealousy got to him again and he sighed, shoulders falling. How lucky they were, to have each other all at once. He envied them, greatly. But he could deal with that - he always had before, anyways. 

The house was as silent and still as the day his grandmother had died, but Roman didn’t mind. He left his shoes by the door, picking up the mail that had been delivered and smiling as he saw the untidy handwriting of a child addressed to her. Oh good, he really could use a distraction right now. So he got a glass of water and sat out on the back porch, pulling open the letter. Things would be alright, and he’d just have to keep on living his life.

He couldn't help but wonder, though, if the emotions inside him were all just jealousy, and nothing else.

* * *

He did see them again, and he still felt the tingle of envy as he watched them all interact. But they pulled him into the dynamic, arguing about the morals of when it was appropriate to lie.

“Lying is wrong!” Patton insisted.

“Okay, what about the scenario presented to Kant-”

“Okay, fine.” Patton cut Dustin off. “With some exceptions. But generally, lying is just going to cause more problems.”

“Oh, I don’t know about that.” Roman laughed softly, mind stuck on the lies he’d told about himself. Of course, he had a soulmate. He just hadn’t met them yet. The mark on his ribs was completely legitimate. “Sometimes it's best to keep some things to yourself. Besides, acting is all basically lying. Where would I be in life without it?”

“See!” Dustin jabbed a finger at him. “I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I like you!”

“I’m flattered.” Roman sat up from where he was lying on the grass. “What do you two think?”

“Lying stresses me out,” Virgil said, lifting one headphone. “They don’t make me join this debate. They’ve had it like, seventy-nine times.”

“Oh. Apologies…”

“To combat your point, Roman,” Logan adjusted his glasses. “Everyone watching you perform knows that it's not real. That you didn’t really lift a bus with your bare hands.”

“Pft, I’m offended!” Roman put a hand on his chest. “You don’t think I could lift a bus?”

“The point is,” Logan rolled his eyes. “Acting is… an agreement. An agreement to abandon reality for a time before putting it back. You aren’t the characters you play, after all. You are yourself.”

“Hmm.” Roman lay back down, hands behind his head. God, how much had he needed to hear someone else say that? “Thank you, Logan. I quite like being myself.” 

Did he, though? Or did he sometimes wish he could be like a hero in a movie, who had a soulmate, who had powers, who had a perfect life? Anyone but himself. No one wrote a soul-less character, and no one would dare cast an openly queer actor as one even if they did out of fear of repercussions.

“I think it depends on each individual’s moral code, anyway,” Logan added. “Everyone has different beliefs, as Roman put it so well the first time he met us.”

“Hm? Oh, yes.” Roman murmured distractedly, staring up at the clouds. 

“Are you alright, Roman? You seem distracted.” Patton said from where he was making a flower crown, the discussion having faded away after Virgil speaking.

“Oh, I’m very distracted.” Roman agreed, laughing. “That doesn’t mean I’m not alright, dear Patton. Just thinking. I may not do it as much as the next person, but I do think about things from time to time.” Patton giggled, leaning over to put the flower crown he’d just completed on Roman’s head. “Oh, excellent. Now I will be prepared for the great flower invasion - I’m their king, you know.”

“The flower king?” Virgil laughed.

“Yes indeed!” Roman sat up again, adjusting the crown so it didn’t fall. “They worship me, as I’m the only person on earth that can match their beauty.” he paused, tilting his head to the side as he watched Patton giggle. “However, I believe they’ve found another heir!”

Roman jumped up, pulling Patton with him and transferring the crown. Patton laughed out loud that time, cheeks flushing.

“For the flowers have begun to realize,” Roman spun him in a circle. “That beauty takes on many forms, and every single person on earth is more gorgeous than the last. Especially those with hearts as golden as the morning day sun!”

“Are you sure you aren’t a cheesy romance author, Princey?” Virgil chuckled.

“Quite sure!” Roman held out a hand, and Virgil let him pull him up as well, swinging him around into Patton’s arms. “And yet another wondrous human has joined us, can’t you revel in the beauty of the clouds before a storm? The electricity right before a lightning strike? Oh, how blessed this earth is to have such beauty upon it!” Virgil’s face reddened more than Patton’s and he buried it in his soulmates’ chest. 

“And the stars!” Roman added, falling dramatically to his knees next to Logan. “How magnificent the stars are, older than time itself and something mankind has only ever wanted to learn more about! How wondrous!”

“Roman, what is going on with you today?” Dustin laughed. “You’re being a sap.”

“And lastly,” Roman spun around as Dustin spoke, grinning wildly. “The beauty of shimmering scales. All good things on earth have scales, you know! The tail of a mermaid, and the adorable head of a danger noodle snake! Glittering in the sun and shining for all to see!”

“Wh- shut up!” Dustin covered his face, falling backward onto the grass. Roman smiled sheepishly, sitting back.

“Apologies.” he ran a hand through his hair. “I was born to be dramatic, and sometimes it’s hard to control myself.”

“Whoever your soulmate is,” Dustin let his hands fall out onto the grass beside him. “They’re so freaking lucky.”

Roman smiled sadly, not replying as he watched Patton pull himself and Virgil around on the grass as they danced.

He was falling in love with all of them.

Fuck.

* * *

Roman was relieved when it was time to travel again. To go to Hollywood, film for a movie he was once again the protagonist of. Why, he wondered, was he always getting such roles? His passion, his appearance, or something else entirely? Was it perhaps because of what his grandmother had said, all those years ago? That he was destined to share his heart and soul with the world.

Whatever the reason, he was glad. It gave him a reason to be away from the four that had stolen his heart. God, wasn’t that pathetic? He’d fallen in love with four people at once when he really wasn’t meant to find love at all.

He pushed the thoughts to the back of his mind, focusing solely on the filming and acting.

A few weeks later, though, when filming had finished, Roman was back in his old little house with nothing to do but think them.

He stared miserably into the mirror, tracing the tattoo on his chest with his fingers. A pair of wings, a pair of wings that had never shone with the love of a soulmate, and they never would. They didn’t with his grandmother, and they certainly wouldn’t with him. He didn’t have a soulmate. The thought had always caused him grief, but in his exhausted state at that moment, it seemed unbearable.

He would never have someone love him the way he loved them. He would never dance with someone the way Patton and Virgil did. He would never be able to share those gentle moments, he would never see the black lines on his chest turn to glowing color the way the rest of them did.

Tears made their way down Roman’s face and he took a shuddering breath, reminding himself of her words.

His soul was too wonderful. Too good for one person. He had to share it with the world.

Roman wished he could still believe that.

A brisk knocking from the front door brought Roman’s head around, and he knew who it was immediately. No one ever really visited him except for them. He grabbed a jacket, pulling it over his head to cover his chest as he rubbed his face, plastering on his signature smile.

“Well hello there!” he pulled the door open dramatically. Sure enough, Patton stood on his front porch with Dustin beside him, holding a plate of cookies.

“Roman! We missed you!” he threw his arms around Roman’s neck and Roman laughed, returning the embrace.

“You couldn't have missed me that much,” he said, letting them inside. “It was only a few weeks, wasn’t it?”

“A few weeks too long!” Patton shook his head. “We brought you cookies!”

“You didn’t have to.” Roman ran a hand through his hair. Dustin put the cookies on the table.

“We did, according to Patton. I wouldn’t complain, though, they’re delicious.”

“Alright then.” Roman laughed, going to get out some cups. “Would you like to indulge in some milk and cookies, then? I can’t possibly eat all those.”

“Roman…” Roman turned to find that Dustin was standing only a few inches away, frowning slightly. “Are you… okay?”

“What?” Roman laughed in surprise. “Of course I’m okay!”

“You look like you’ve been crying.” Dustin pointed out.

“...I’m perfectly alright.” Roman put the cups down, moving to the fridge. “Simply a little tired, that’s all. The stress of being famous, I suppose. You can both drink dairy, right?”

“Yes.” Dustin sighed.

“Are you sure? You can talk to us, Roman. We’re friends!” Patton said cheerfully as they all settled around Roman’s table. Roman hesitated, staring down at his cup.

What was it that Patton was so adamant about? That lying would only cause more problems?

“Roman.” Roman looked up, meeting Dustin’s eyes. His gorgeous gorgeous eyes, illuminated by the glow of his gorgeous gorgeous soul mark.

“I…” Roman shook his head, taking a bite of one of the cookies instead. They were right, it was amazing. “This tastes great.”

“Thanks.” Dustin waved it away, narrowing his eyes. “Come on, Princey. As if we’d let you be sad and not help. You’re our friend, we care about you.”

“Please tell us what’s wrong,” Patton added, voice softer.

Roman leaned back in his chair, thinking. Most polyamorous soulmate groups were treated cruelly. Not as bad as soul-less, but not very well at all. It was very possible they would understand how he felt. He sighed, staring down at the cookie before him as he had all those years ago with his grandmother, and said the same thing he had then.

“I don’t have a soul.”

The reaction was, admittedly, unexpected.

Dustin threw his head back and laughed. Roman stared at him, mystified and numb. Patton just sat there, emotions flitting across his face that Roman couldn't decipher.

“Yeah… yeah right!” Dustin wheezed, leaning forward now. “Roman Crown doesn’t have a soul. As if! What the fuck does that even mean? Have you ever seen yourself when you’re passionate? There’s no way you’re just walking around empty.” he laughed again, wiping his eyes. “God, what?”

“Dee.” Patton elbowed him, shaking his head. “Try and think for a second.”

“Think about what?” Dustin asked, looking over at his soulmate. A beat of silence followed, in which Roman buried his face in his hands. “Oh wait - fuck, soul marks are a thing, huh?”

“You forgot?” Patton giggled.

“Well I’m sorry, Patton, it’s not my fault life is this confusing!” Dustin sighed. “...sorry, Roman. Must not have been the reaction you wanted.”

Another beat of silence and Roman could nearly hear the gears churning in Dustin’s head.

“Wait a second.” Roman whimpered softly, shoulders hunching. “You don’t have a soul mark? That’s ridiculous, we’ve all seen your soul mark! Every teenager on earth has seen your soul mark! It's a pair of wings on your ribcage, right? Or was that like, editing from some movie?”

“It's a tattoo!” Roman said, gripping his hair tightly. “I’m soul-less, alright? And that’s why I’m upset. Because I… because I’ll never get to have what you two have with Logan and Virgil. It drives me insane! I guess I thought you might not care, cuz we’re friends, but…”

“I don’t care,” Patton said softly. Roman lifted his head, squinting incredulously across at him.

“I never said I cared!” Dustin protested as well, throwing his hands in the air. “I was just surprised! Because of your tattoo, I guess.”

“That’s kinda the point.” Roman laughed miserably. “You know how different my life would be if people knew? I would probably be homeless or dead by now.”

“I… I guess.” Dustin’s shoulders fell. “God, I’m sorry Roman. Must… it must be hard to have all that on your back.”

Roman shook his head. This was the strangest feeling. He’d never told anyone - ever - except for his grandmother.

“Can I give you a hug?” Patton got up, walking around the table. Roman stood, allowing him to wrap his arms around him and hold him.

“Okay, but seriously?” Dustin continued rambling. Roman watched him curiously. “This is insane! Patton, you can’t tell me that you aren’t gonna-”

“Oh hush.” Patton stuck out his tongue. “That’s not what Roman needs right now, Dustin!”

“What?” Roman asked warily, pulling from Patton’s arms.

“I mean…” Dustin got to his feet, waving his hands about in the air. “We all get pissed at ourselves for falling in love with a guy who isn’t our soulmate and it turns out that it doesn’t fucking matter? Come on! It's like a fucking fairy tail!”

“Dustin!” Patton’s eyes widened.

“Fuck!” Dustin slapped his forehead, eyes slipping shut. Roman just stared, heart pounding. “Virgil’s gonna rip my throat out, isn’t he?” Patton said nothing, just looked at Roman guiltily.

“Th-that’s impossible.” Roman stepped back, catching himself on the counter and gripping it for support. 

There was no way. They already had soulmates. They already had all four of them they didn’t need him. They couldn't want him. It was impossible. It was unnatural. Just like he was. A mistake. Everything about this was a mistake. He shouldn’t have told them. He shouldn’t have ever let himself fall in love with them.

“Roman, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything, I should have just kept my mouth shut… I…” Dustin stumbled over his words for once, wringing his hands. “God, that’s so weird and creepy what am I even doing?”

“Hey, hey now,” Patton spoke softly, drawing both of their attention to him. “Everything’s gonna be okay, alright?” he hesitated, then turned to Roman. “Do you want us to go? Say the word, we’ll nev-never…” he blinked back tears and Roman’s heart ached. “If you say so, we’ll leave you alone forever.” what? No! Roman’s eyes widened in horror at the thought.

“Stay,” he whispered, eyes filling with tears. “Please.”

“R-really?” Patton seemed shocked, and he let out a soft sob. “R-Roman…”

“Don’t question it!” Dustin cried, throwing his hands in the air. “Roman, can I hug you?”

“Fuck… yeah.” Roman closed his eyes, pulling Dustin into a tight hug as soon as he could reach him. Dustin returned it, Roman could feel his heart pounding.

“I meant it,” Dustin said after a minute. “I love you. I’m in love with you.”

“We all are,” Patton whispered softly. “We’ve been so worried and confused about it, you’ve always made soul marks out to be such a big deal, we thought there was no way you could love us back.”

“They are a big deal,” Roman whispered brokenly. “They’re a big fucking deal. I don’t have one. I don’t… I don’t have a soul.”

“You do too!” Dustin pulled away, eyes narrowed. “Didn’t you hear what I said? There’s no fucking way a guy as passionate as you doesn’t have a soul! That’s bullshit!”

“You sound like my grandma.” Roman laughed, wiping tears from his eyes. “She was always saying that my soul was too good for just one person, y’know? That I was destined to change the world with my soul instead?”

“That’s adorable!” Patton gasped.

“And completely true!” Dustin added. “You know what I’ve always said, Roman. Fuck society and everything it stands for. That includes soul marks and the stupid prejudice around them!”

“I felt so stupid,” Roman whispered, closing his eyes. “Falling in love with all of you… I always told myself I’d never… that it was impossible for me to fall in love.”

“You love us?” Patton gasped. “Oh my gosh, Dee did you hear that?”

“Hell yeah, I did!” Dustin whooped. “Man, Virgil and Lo are gonna lose their shit! Can I tell them? Patton, please can I be the one to tell them!”

“...Roman?” Patton glanced at him. Roman shrugged, rubbing tears from his face.

“I’m gonna call them.” Dustin chuckled, pulling out his phone. “I wish it was April first, man, that’d make this all so freaking hilarious.”

“Well, it’s January,” Roman said, taking a few deep breaths. “What are you gonna tell them?” Dustin just grinned, turning away as the phone rang.

“OH MY GOD VIRGIL I’VE BEEN KIDNAPPED!” He screeched, making Roman jump. Then he laughed. “Ah, just kidding babe. Me and Patton are over at Roman’s, remember? You’ll never guess what happened.” Roman glanced at Patton, who just shook his head tiredly. “He loves us back!” Dustin finally yelled, turning with a wide grin to stare at Roman. “You and Logan get your butts over here!”

“You could have taken it easy on him,” Patton complained. Dustin just pulled him into a kiss.

“If there is one thing I’ll never do,” Dustin laughed. “It's take it easy on Virgil.”

“I hope you didn’t give him a panic attack,” Patton mumbled.

“Well, can’t change the past.” Dustin smiled sheepishly and turned to Roman, beaming. “Roman, oh my god, can I kiss you?”

“Um… sure.”

Dustin pulled him into a kiss, and Roman could have sworn his heart warmed considerably, and his hope for the future glowed a soft red light inside him. The black lines on his chest may have remained the way they always were… but that had nothing to do with the four souls he’d found he was compatible with.


End file.
